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Simmering

February 21st, 2011 by the_lifer
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She checks the time, and it’s later than she thought. Towards the end of summer, the dawns stay darker for longer. So she draws herself out of bed. Beneath her bare feet, the floor has a fleeting chill. The line of light between the curtains beckons, and she parts it with one hand.

Outside is the promise of yet another glorious late summer day, all cloudless sky and silver-gilt sunlight. A few rippled clouds linger, pink and lavender. And behind the early morning’s traffic rumble is another sound, a crinkle, a simmer, something between a tasty culinary sound and a song, rising from the forested hills that cup Wellington.

It’s the cicadas. The two-inch bugs are having a banner year, celebrating by leaving molted carapaces around and dashing in through open windows. And, she thinks, they have a message for everyone in cupped in Wellington’s valleys.

Summer’s ready. That simmering sound means it’s being served up. Eat it up, in big bites, while it’s perfectly warm. Don’t stint yourself. Everyone’s looser, more scattered than usual – forgive them, with weather like this. Take the time yourself, because it doesn’t get any better than this, before winter starts to lash again.

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They’re Percolating In

February 18th, 2011 by admin
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Helena Hutt is back in the swing of mummying, Wellington style. The organizing white board in the kitchen, after the blissful emptiness of summer, has filled up with grids of who has to be there when. She spends half the day in her car, shuttling small people about.  And as she drives, she notices something. It’s a definite phenomenon.

The first couple of times, she did a double take, thinking that she recognized her younger, trendy sister Winona and her partner Will in obscure corners of the ever-unfashionable Hutt Valley. It never was them; just their younger, trendy dopplegangers. Straightening out a mailbox here…emerging from a Belmont or Naenae forest walkway entrance there…at a local dairy,  delighting the proprietor by cleaning them out of expensive aloe vera drinks…most tellingly, in the school parking lot, chatting earnestly and driving badly.

A certain migration seems to have begun. The real estate crashlet, paired with the annual February rental squeeze, has given the Hutt Valley new appeal to the young and sensible.

Helena hums happy little songs as she drives along. She won’t be saying “I told you so” about the Hutt in the next year. But she figures she’ll be saying it a lot the year after that.  Once the coffee shops and cafes follow the hipsters to their affordable real estate enclaves.

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Hot Bread

February 16th, 2011 by admin
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Every Wellington bachelor has several idée fixes. They vary from bloke to bloke, save for one: that the “hot bread” bakery closest to their abode is the best bakery in the entire Wellington region.

Surely it must be so. There’s always a line – it has to be good. The cases are loaded with gleaming gold baked goods. Meat pies! Doughnuts, billowing with cream! Tiles of fudge and lolly cake, planks of pizza bread! They take the nevvies on Saturday morning for a pie and a drink after game practice, or stop by to pick up a “pull-apart” loaf when they have to bring a plate to a party. Best of all, it’s independent. Not a chain or anything.

Are they so independent? With all that variety, there has to be a compromise somewhere. The freezer and the industrial-size food service tins are hiding behind the racks of iced buns, and the golden hues of the pastry and custard, even the loft of the fresh cream, are “assisted.”

Do you have the heart to tell the bachelor you know? No? Me, neither.

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My Welly Valentine, II

February 14th, 2011 by the_lifer
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Will and Winona have settled in for a romantic Valentine’s evening. A bottle of good red wine; a thin, crisp pizza; a small box of chocolates; and Will’s iPad, scrolling real estate ads. Together, they are planning their future.

“I’d like…a place with some character. Except warm, and insulated, and with heating.”

“Walking distance from downtown.”

“Oh, definitely! But with a little yard. And maybe off street parking?”

They glance at the prices, and their faces fall. “Bloody oath,” Will grumbles.

“I thought we were supposed to be having a real estate downturn,” says Winona. She tilts her head and looks sideways at the screen. “I could maybe cope with Hataitai,” she admits, spreading the net of suburbs farther.

“Johnsonville’s not bad. Wayne likes it,” Will says.

Winona pouts. “Maybe…an apartment?”

“Kids, in an apartment?”

“More wine?”

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If You Had Just Five Minutes, What Would You Say?

February 11th, 2011 by admin
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That’s the motto of the Ignite event. Wazzer, intrigued by the “evening of speakers” trend that kept taking Willow out in the evening, asked to be brought along one night. Willow put some thought into which one would suit her happy headbanger flatmate best. Pecha Kucha‘s flickering images gave Willow motion sickness, and while Wazzer could be seen reading the shorter pieces in The New Scientist, Nerdnite seemed a little too abstruse for her.  So Ignite it was. At least one of its short, sharp topics, ranging from novel-writing to cancer survival to mayonnaise, would hit home.

They were in the event’s lobby, feeling smug as they waited to go in, having tallied up between them sightings of two burlesque dancers, three hackers, a polyamorous quartet, several prominent bloggers, and a transsexual.  “We should have cards for Wellington hipster bingo,” Wazzer was just saying, when a head of blue hair bobbed into sight.  Ulrika!

As they watch, Ulrika attached herself to one of the hackers, who steered her around to join the queue to enter the Ignite theater. Soon, the burgeoning crowd has hemmed her right up against Willow and Wazzer.

Wazzer’s grin is carnivorous. “Hiiiii! How are you? Not wearing your ring tonight?”

Ulrika, caught off guard, admits,  “He and I broke up over Christmas.”

“Ohhhh. Well, maybe if you did your hair differently –” Wazzer leaves off when Willow nudged her.

“Sorry to hear it. Should’ve told you more about him sooner,” says Willow.

This sinks in. Ulrika acknowledges it with a small nod. Just as she begins to try a smile, the theater doors are opened, and the crowd shuffles forward. Willow pulls Wazzer forward. “Poor her! The only thing worse than going out with Wayland was breaking up with him.”

Wazzer curls her lip. “Yeah, well, it’s not like she’s gonna stick around now, I bet she goes back to Europe.”

“Hm. You think?” says Willow. And they settle into some seats, each thinking.

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A Night of Win

February 7th, 2011 by admin
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Courtenay Place, the night of the Sevens rugby final, is a scene of post-apocalyptic debauchery. Hooting groups of drunkards fumble out of taxis and stagger around, their group costumes the worse for wear after three days.  Unwilling to sacrifice a parking place in Mount Victoria, Winona and Will have watched the madness through the safety of bus windows – but they have to get out sometime to return to their flat.

“Oooo, look at that,” says Winona, as she steps on the sidewalk. A well-set-up young man wearing a coonskin cap, tall furry boots, and the remains of a fake fur loincloth is sprinting away from two groups of women who are chasing him. “D’you think the sexy nuns or the sexy MAF workers will get him first?”

Will is shaking his head. “It gets crazier every year.”

Winona turns up her collar and nestles closer to Will. It’s raining and windy. They’re sharing the sidewalk with  a homeless man wrapped in a blanket and a group of yodeling men wearing dirndls. “Well, New Zealand did win the Sevens. Oh, look, a whole crew dressed up like Tintin! I loved the Tintin books…”  And she smiles.

To Will, her smile silences the yodels and shines through the rain. He grips her elbow. “Win. I – d’you want to get married?”

“Married?” She stops.

“I should’ve waited ’till Valentine’s Day, eh?”

“No, no – I mean, yes! Yes, let’s get married, no, you shouldn’t have waited…” They collapse together, laughing giddily.

A cranky woman brushes by them as they reel together. “Tch! Is everyone drunk tonight?”

“Yes!” they both yell, in unison, laughing even more.

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Smells Right

February 2nd, 2011 by admin
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By the time Winona returns to Wellington, a certain detente has been achieved. She had to quit ignoring her smart phone sometime. Karin sent her home soon after, saying, “If all you’re going to do is poke at the bloody phone…”

Three hours of post-holiday traffic and a stop for fish and chips at Paraparaumu later, she is standing in her own living room again. Oddly, the grey hoodie she let Karin lend her is a near match for the one Will is wearing. “You cleaned,” she says, looking around.

“Hey…you drove,” Will says, with a half-smile.

“How was your weekend?”

He shrugs. “Just hung out here. Everyone I wanted to spend time with was out of town.”

Winona blushes.

Looking out the window, he says, “You did a nice job of parking, but…why is there a different coloured door on one side of the car?”

“It’s for art’s sake.”

Will frowns. “Do I know him?”

Winona flings herself around him, nestling her face into his shoulder. The corner where his neck meets his collarbone smells right.  “I’ll have Karin introduce you.”

He rests his face against her hair. “That’s all right, then. Mmmm. What d’you say to some fish and chips?”

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The Other Big “0”

January 31st, 2011 by admin
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On Wellington Anniversary Day, Willow is relaxing in her breakfast nook, enjoying the unique sensation of reading the Dominion Post on her netbook, instead of at her desk at work. A small glass pot of flower jasmine tea is unfurling/brewing on the table, and a happy cat is nestled up beside her.  The serenity doesn’t last long.

Wazzer bursts in, glowing with sunburn. “I’m home! Big Day Out was oarsome! And I brought you something. It’s not Iggy Pop, he wouldn’t fit in the bags unless we cut him up, but it’s still bloody good.” She drops her duffel bag and begins to rummage in a backpack. “I scored free tickets to Laneways, the music thing that’s gonna be here! I know you like Ladyhawke. Ya free Tuesday the first?”

Willow crumples with distress. “I’m not! I’ve said yes to a co-worker’s 40th birthday dinner. She wants it on the day of, you see.”

Wazzer moans in sympathy.

For many social events, Wellingtonians can be less than reliable. Even Facebook “Attending” status can be undone for a party by bad weather, spousal sulkiness, or a sexier invitation. Yet there is one celebration held sacrosant; the Significant Birthday. Fancy dress? Sharing the bill at an expensive restaurant? Voyaging to distant suburbs? Being blasted all night by a best friend’s amateur hardcore cover band? All are bowed to for the sake of a birthday that ends with a “0”.

After a brief moment of grieving silence and acceptance, Wazzer grumps, “I can’t use them because I pulled all my strings to get the full weekend off. You think Winona’d buy them?”

“Perhaps. I haven’t heard from her all weekend.”

Wazzer shrugs. “Holidays. Okay if I use the washer? I’ve got to freshen up these Grinderman T-shirts so I can torture my co-workers by wearing them this week!”

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Good Riddance

January 28th, 2011 by admin
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“Mate. Mate! Mate! Calm down!”

Will isn’t sure who he’s addressing. Six hours ago, as Ulrika wept, he felt like a hero for saying that he’d help Ulrika tell her now-ex-lover, Wayland, to move out of Ulrika’s flat. He’s in the middle of the hundred-decibel negotiations now, thinking that maybe he got asked along to make sure that Ulrika didn’t kill Wayland.

“Admit it!” she’s shrieking. “Admit it! You were only using me as your boarding house and ticket to Europe!”

Wayland swears, then says, “Why shouldn’t I? You think New Zealand’s crap! You say so all the time!” Putting on a mincing, feminine voice, he mocks, “Ui, the men in this town, all so short and ugly. The weather, so bad. What Will is paid, his boring girlfriend, how he puts up with it?” His green eyes flash malice and triumph at Will.

Will folds his arms. “You. Five minutes to finish packing. Then, out. Got it?”

Lips still curled, Wayland gives him a mocking salute, then saunters to get bags from the kitchen. “Not those ones!” Ulrika shrieks. “Not the waterproof reusable ones. The plastic ones! You brought them all in!”

Fifteen minutes later, Wayland is evicted at last, tossing out the last words, “She’s all yours, mate.” Then, the door closes.

Ulrika collapses on the sofa, chest heaving. Slowly, she leans her head back and sighs. “Ohhhhh, such a relief.” Peeping at Will from under her histronically-closed eyelids, she sees that he’s not in a hurry to join her on the sofa. “You can’t believe what he said I said about your pay and your girlfriend.”

“Not sure,” he mutters. “Heard you say all the other things, though. And…maybe it’s kind of true.”

Ulrika sits up, perkily.

“This day has been more drama than Win ever inflicted on me. Even when she broke up with Wayland herself, twelve years ago, and called me up again. Or when she saw us together earlier today. In fact – ” Will checks his smart phone – “she still hasn’t sent me a message. I’ve gotta find her.”

Her eyes brim again. “You can’t leave me here after all of this!”

“Why not? It’s safe now. Lock the door. Have a quiet night in. It’s not always bad to be boring.”

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“For There Is No Friend Like A Sister”

January 26th, 2011 by admin
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It’s midnight. Winona has just finished pacing, unburdening herself to her sister Karin, about how it feels to walk in on your partner with another woman’s face in his lap. The day has been so long and peculiar that it barely registers that she is now in a foundry-cum-studio on the outskirts of Waikanae, talking to a sister she has barely seen for five years.

Karin shakes her head.  “Darling. It’s not just you. Wellington’s always been like that. Always, always, always.  It’s got too many fresh faces for couples to feel truly settled with each other, but it’s also too small for them to not get found out if they go out of bounds.” She exhales a perfect smoke ring. “That’s why I was happy to move up to Kapiti. Apart from the approach of the energy and climate crisis, of course. If Kev and I are “alternative,” and we each have our girlfriends, we also have our privacy.”

Winona’s mouth is such a perfect O that some cigarette smoke drifts in until she coughs. “But…you’re married…”

“That’s right, and it’s our marriage!” Karin snaps. “Kev and I have a life together. I’m not his mum telling him what to do, he’s not telling me to go cook him some eggs. We have space here, to be apart or come together when we need it. Mum and Helena never understood us.”

Suddenly, Winona feels exhausted. “I don’t understand. What it means for me, I mean. Do you mean that Will and I should break up if he’s – whatever – with someone else? Or move away from Wellington? Or get married ourselves?”

“What you do is up to you. You could stay in the sleepout for a few weeks if you wanted. If you need space, too.” As a child, Win had always thought her eleven-years-older Karin was an avatar of cool teenaged beauty. Karin’s face is now seamed after her sun-baked, hard-smoking prime. But her  world-weary, accepting eyes make her, to Winona, that dazzling, amazing older sister again.

They both glance out of the studio’s wide doorway, into the gravelled driveway. Winona’s car is parked in front of the sleepout, looking irregular. “The car…there was a bus…I haven’t driven in a while.”

Karin stubs out her cigarette. “If you’re not going to get that car door fixed, I’ll take it. That could be the centre of a very compelling installation.”

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